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This period signifies a full decade since the phrase “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a detailed guide to the phrases this generation is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This refers to choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional excess, it describes pairs who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions confirm your choice to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {